Transparency

The Trauma Tamer’s Objectivity

The Trauma Tamer believes that it is impossible to be completely objective. Though we strive to maintain neutrality as a disinterested third-party, we know that unless you are super self-aware, there are hidden biases that influence any working relationship. Our guiding principle is for the best interests of the child, with equal treatment to our co-parents.

Co-Parents (referred to as Co-Clients)

Transparency is highest and most achievable goal. Rather than maintain a false belief in objectivity, we treat each parent as co-clients, disclose our biases, and provide clear and transparent disclosures. Therefore, when each parent enters into a SERVICE AGREEMENT with the Trauma Tamer, she outlines the terms of service, policies, and fee table. We serve the best interests of the child, so both parents are treated equally.

After an initial consultation with the initiating parent, we conduct two 30-minute interviews with each co-parent to discuss the background and concerns that either co-parent has about the child’s safety, health, and general well-being. In addition, we allow co-parents to provide documents and raise any concerns they have about the other parent. Whether a co-client has complete physical custody or joint physical custody, every human being has a right to express their concerns and be validated for what they have been going through.

Designations

We begin at the beginning.

Each co-parent’s concerns about the child and the other parent are UNFOUNDED. With the information we collect, we disclose our analyses in the way as representative examples.

Safety, Health, and Well-Being of the Child

Co-Parent A (Temporary Physical and Sole Legal Custody)

  • Parent’s concerns about the safety, health, and general well-being of the child are UNSUBSTANTIATED.

An UNSUBSTANTIATED designation simply means that based on the information we’ve received and reviewed, we do not find that the co-parent’s concerns are supported by the evidence.

Another disclosure may look as follows:

Co-Parent B (Temporary Physical and Joint Legal Custody)

  • Parent’s concerns about the safety, health, and general well-being of the child are SUBSTANTIATED.

A SUBSTANTIATED designation does not mean that the parent’s claims are true. It simply means that a parent’s concerns are supported by the evidence.

The Trauma Tamer reviews many types evidence from medical records, police reports, communications between the co-parents, and even statements made through the family courts. Our educated and trained staff reviews and analyzes these documents and has the “super vision” to make such findings.

More Designations

For those co-clients who really want to drag out the custody battle, we provide additional designations on emotional health and parenting skills. Mostly, these concerns are not essential to determine the best interests of the child. If one parent doesn’t know how to cook or change a diaper, they will easily learn on-the-job. However, there are, sometimes, material concerns that do impact the safety, health, and general well-being of the child. To this end, we make further designations as follows:

Emotional Health

Co-Parent A (Temporary Joint Physical and Joint Legal Custody)

  • Parent’s emotional health is IN QUESTION.

An IN QUESTION designation means that based on the interview, document review, and independent psychological testing, we find there are material concerns to the parent’s emotional health.

We usually recommend individual therapy and more focused therapy modalities in such cases. Another example is:

Co-Parent B (Temporary Sole Physical and Sole Legal Custody)

  • Parent’s emotional health is AS EXPECTED.

An AS EXPECTED designation means we found the parent’s emotional health is consistent with the experiences that they have gone through.

Divorces are extremely difficult experiences. Sometimes trauma experience both before and after the separation can cause emotional challenges to one or both parents. We take that into consideration.

With the commitment to treat both co-parents equally, we also submit both parents to independent psychological testing. Even when one co-parent does not submit to such an evaluation, our third-party and independent testing service finds a way to make a determination based on the information provided by both parties.

Parenting Skills

The Trauma Tamer’s findings and disclosures on Parenting Skills are formatted similarly above. The designation categories are: EXEMPLARY, APPARENT, and NEEDS WORK. To complete this work, we require that the custodial co-parent also undergo a two-hour supervised monitoring parenting time.

An EXEMPLARY designation means that based on our review of monitoring reports and interviews with friends and family, we believe the parent has extremely high aptitude for raising their child.

The APPARENT designation is a play on words. It simply means that the parents falls within the expected range of every other parent across the United States based on the culture and norms of that person’s specific upbringing. They are simply a “parent.”

The NEEDS WORK designation is used in extraordinary cases when the monitoring reports and other information show severe parenting deficiencies. These can include excessive yelling, bullying, gaslighting, and infantilizing of the child. Though you might expect that this is a rare designation, but considering a contentious divorce where one parent wants to impugn the parenting skills of another, our staff is very busy and overworked!

Resources

After we make our finding, we recommend books, parenting courses, and YouTube videos for all of our co-clients, regardless of the designation. Afterall, don’t all parents, even EXEMPLARY and APPARENT ones, want to improve parental skills like communication with their children, whether toddler or teenager?

To receive our resource recommendations on parenting skills while experiencing trauma, sign up for the monthly newsletter on Healing from Narcissistic Abuse.

Contact The Trauma Tamer to schedule a free 30-minute consultation on how we can provide our valuable services to “Survivors and Thrivers of Trauma” right here. Financial assistance is available for those who qualify.

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